Friday, February 1, 2013

Creative Writing and Character Post - Armen Uilleam

So, it's me again, your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Hannah.

Guess what movie we watched last night?

That's right! Batman.

I've had a lot of trouble writing today. And in the past week. Chronic writer's block - not great.
I was going to start off February with a Character Post, but that didn't work out. I realized that I needed to work on Arsha's background and personality a lot more. I could only squeeze out four paragraphs to cover her entire character.
I can't do a Creative Writing today, although that would be fantastic.
I am kid-sitting this morning as Trinity drives my mom to her doctor's appointment for the fourth time this week. I tried to work on this post last night in my less-than-fifteen-minutes of writing time. But a Character Post takes longer than that. So I'm going to do exactly what I shouldn't and put up a Creative Writing.
Not a normal Creative Writing, though. (I said that with the last CW, didn't I? I guess I'm just an unconventional writer.)
This is a little blurb reminiscent of Dr. Seuss's work, or so I'm told. Based on this picture:

Now with this picture, along with others, I try to be... well, creative. I try to think of what it seems to be, and then think of the most unique thing I could make out of it. Then I write it.
What is this picture of? Well, one could assume that this man here is tossing food to this hippopotamus. But this could be from the point of view of the hippo, or of the man, or of the person watching the scene, and so on. Or maybe the man isn't tossing food to the hippopotamus at all. Maybe the hippo is a shape-shifter who actually has telekinesis and the man and the hippo are currently locked in a tug-of-war battle over... maybe it's money, or a rare medicine.
Just something I came up with off of the top of my head.

Observation: All the people in the village are dying of starvation.
Conclusion: If all of the people die of starvation, there be no more people.
Problem: It would be sad to have no more people.
Solution: Install People Feeder!

Yes, indeed, a People Feeder! They are remarkably efficient. Simply build an enormous robot of a dangerous creature (to keep it from getting attacked by other creatures, and big enough to hold lots of food), and send it out somewhere that there is lots of food. Then, once it’s completely full, it will return to the village. When someone wants food, they come to the People Feeder hut (yes, the People Feeder has it’s own special hut), and the People Feeder, like a fountain of nutritional sustenance, will spew out a meal’s worth of food into the villager’s hand! Well, in theory. You get more food if you have better reflexes.

Observation: The People Feeder is having mechanical problems. It runs on bamboo juice, but there is no bamboo to be juiced in the swamps in which it lives. The person who made the People Feeder doesn’t want to go into the swamps to fix it because wet socks make them sneeze.
Conclusion: If the People Feeder Fixer won’t fix the People Feeder, the People Feeder will continue to have mechanical problems because of lack of bamboo juice.
Problem: If the People Feeder has problems, it won’t feed the people.
Solution: Install People Feeder Feeder!

Yes, indeed, a Feeder to Feed a Feeder! A People Feeder Feeder! It is built in the form of a swift animal, such as an antelope, deer, or ostrich. The People Feeder Feeder feeds on bamboo, mashes it up into juice, then Feeds the People Feeder! Ingenious, I know. Once a Feeder Feeder’s fed with Feeder food, it feeds the Feeder til the Feeder’s fed with feed. Then the Feeder Feeder therefore Feeds the people through the People Feeder.

Observation: The Feeder Feeder’s fed up with feeding. The Feeder Feeder won’t feed the Feeder for lack of feed. The Feeder Feeder eats human hair.
Conclusion: The Feeder Feeder must be fed to feed the Feeder.
Problem: If the Feeder Feeder isn’t fed, the Feeder Feeder won’t feed the Feeder!
Solution: All the people in the village line up to feed the Feeder Feeder with their hair (the Feeder Feeder will gently graze their scalps), and will then go to the Feeder’s hut to get their food.

Yes, indeed! Simply sacrifice your hair for food, and you will live well on a Feeder’s food! There are many people in the village, and the hair ought to last long enough.

Observation: All the people in the village are bald.
Conclusion: There is no hair left to feed the Feeder Feeder.
Problem: If the Feeder Feeder isn’t fed, it will not feed the Feeder to feed people to grow the hair to feed the Feeder Feeder food.
Solution: Get all the people to quit being so lazy and get their own food!

It's interesting. I can hardly ever write a Creative Writing without humor in it. It's nearly impossible. My mom once had me try to do a sad one. It was probably the hardest one I've ever done. But when I am writing my usual story (with the elves and such), it is so easy for me to write really personally depressing scenes. Maybe because I have trouble torturing characters that I only know for a fifteen-minute time span.

I have realized that that was a pretty short CW. And I do have about a half an hour before I and my siblings have to be ready to leave. So maybe I'll be able to get around to that Character Post. Not Arsha, though, maybe someone else.
Preferably someone that I know well.
I have been putting off Armen's Character Post for a long time now...

Okay, fine, I'll try my hand at writing about him, then.

Armen Uilleam

Good pictures of Armen are very hard to find. I haven't actually come across a perfect one yet. When I do, rest assured I will explode several times and then post it on here. For the time being, these two pictures come the closest.

Armen is my favorite character, for many reasons. He is almost my oldest character, and definitely the one with the most thorough background.
Here are the interestingest things about Armen (in my opinion).

1. He has an accent - a British accent, in fact. I call him a British Elf, though he has never been to England as far as I know.

2. His eyes change colors. Really, it's fascinating to me. I have a cousin whose grey eyes would change to black when she was angry, and I think that's what I based it off of, but Armen has a much wider array of colors. His eyes, typically, are grey (with an E, always with an E).
Dark blue - sad
Light blue - also sad
Grey - happy/calm
Maroon/Red - angry
Brown - sympathetic
Yellow - frightened (not common)
Green - jealous or worried
Violet - passionate lying (or trying to trick you; it has to do with blood pressure, not the actual wording of the lie)
Orange - confused (also not common)
Black - enraged
White - stunned (and creepy)

3. Armen is a gentleman. His uncle, the one who raised him, made sure to train him correctly. Armen will always be the one to hold the door open for a lady, and he always dresses neatly and properly. Just in habit. Plus he has short hair. No wanna-be Beiber elves.

4. He has skills. And awesomeness. If you haven't seen the parkour video on this post: , you should. Also, with all of his awesomeness and strength and athletic abilities, he also has knives like Legolas'.

And he can use them like nobody's business.

5. Ironically, even with all his super-coolness, Armen is short. He's 5' 4". Taller than me (sigh), but shorter than nearly every other elf he comes into contact with regularly. Even petite Dyani, my sister Sarah's favorite, beats him by a half an inch. He only passes the youngest of Aiken's Gang by one inch.

I do have to do a sequel of this soon, but I seriously gots to go. That's it, then. Ta-ta!

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