Snippets and Nonsense

It'sa Hannah.

How are all ya'll?

On a normal day it takes about, oh, a hour to write a post, at the least. I don’t know, am I slow? I usually write a bunch of little talkity things while I decide what the subject is going to be. Sometimes the subject I want to write about is pretty clear, sometimes not so much. So now I’m just going jump into a river of pretty nonsensical nonsense. (Nonsensical nonsense makes more sense than nonsensical sense. Or maybe it makes less sense. Fewer senses? I don’t know.)

By the way, thanks for the encouragement about Orphna’s Tale. I suddenly got super excited about it and began writing again. And it’s been spectacular fun! Creativity, I know, comes from restrictions, but there is also a lot of fun in writing without so many boundaries on everything. Like my characters from the Eyra Chronicles. They are (at least to me) a world apart from the Orphna characters. For instance, Armen (an elf who I have not gotten around to telling you all about), he’s serious. Almost all the time. He doesn’t usually make jokes, but when he does they are pretty subtle. Not recommended for idiots.
But then I started working on Xren! Wooooowwww… that is so fun. He is a fun, talkative, playful guy… and I’ve only written, at most, four pages with him! There is a big difference. When looking at Pinterest for picture inspiration, I see a picture of this guy and girl chatting. I think, “Oh, that could be Armen and Lina, they’re good friends… but no, wait, the guy is slouching. Nothing like Armen. He’s very proper.
“But wait! Xren doesn’t care! Yay! I can use this!” And I do a little happy dance in my writing chair.
I know, it’s weird to get happy over things like that. But to me, my characters are just so fabulous! I love the little differences between characters, it just makes it seem more real to me, as opposed to having a bunch of clone-like people all acting the same way.


So anyway, a little section of my more recent try:

The banging on the castle doors was muffled now that they were in the upper rooms, but it still echoed ominously in the distance.

The queen pulled her counsel into a side room, and decided to get right to it, talking quickly.
“I don’t believe they can be made to see sense. It’s gone too far; it’s dangerous now.”
Five pairs of eyes met her gaze. “What are you trying to say?” Arsha asked with a frown.
“I’m not going to let you be killed for my sake,” the queen said in a low voice.
“It would only be an honor, Your Majesty,” Xren, the soldier, said quietly.
“No!” argued Losila tightly. “I would rather have you live and fight than sacrifice yourself. I am leaving, with what is left of my entourage. You all have a choice.”
The counsel members exchanged glances, then regarded their queen with guarded interest.
“There is a back way,” she said softly. “Arsha knows where it is. I would have you all go now, escape into the woods, and stay there until the uprising dies down, or until you are forgotten.”
“You’d have us run,” objected Mylenda Linley.
“Yes, I would,” said Losila. “Take your families and leave.”
“What about you?” asked Kiake anxiously.
“I will be fine. Though I will need a companion on my own journey.”
“I’ll go, Your Highness,” said Arsha automatically.
“No.” The queen set a hand on her shoulder. “You need to be a leader.”
Arsha frowned, looking almost hurt. Undiro stepped forward. “I will go, Your Majesty.”
“You have a family, Undiro, you can’t leave them.”
“If Your Majesty says the word– ”
“I don’t. Stay.”
Mylenda straightened. “Then I will go.”
Losila looked at Mylenda, concern furrowing her brow, but she sighed. “All right. You may.”


Shouts came from the below levels, along with a resounding boom as the palace doors gave way.
Kiake ran to the window and called, “The courtyard is emptying. They’re inside!”
“Go, now,” Queen Losila shouted, and she and Mylenda disappeared through a side door.
The remaining counsel members looked at each other.
“My wife and daughter,” said Undiro.
Arsha snapped to reality. “Go, then, get them. Kiake, go with him.” Undiro was already out the door, in spite of his age, and Kiake nodded acknowledgement and bounded after him.
“Don’t take anything but the absolute necessary!” Arsha called after them, then turned to Xren. “Get my sword.”
“Are you going to run in a dress?” he asked, retrieving the weapon from a nearby drawer.
“I guess so,” she said flatly, slipping something from a shelf into her pocket.
“What was that?” asked Xren.
“Hush,” said Arsha. “Head for the second counsel room, and see if you can’t get Kiake and Undiro on the way.” She took her sword from him and went out the door.


Arsha reached the staircase and stopped as she saw the foot of the flight crowded with torch-bearing men. “Xren, change of plans. Get over here.”
He appeared at her shoulder. “Blast,” he cursed.
“They’re just local people. Should we try to force our way through?”
“Let’s not turn this into a debate,” suggested Xren, turning and running nimbly down the opposite staircase, which was less crowded. As a man approached with a pitchfork, Xren batted him away with the hilt of his sword and glanced up to see if Arsha was coming.
Arsha gritted her teeth, and throwing a glance over her shoulder, hiked up her skirts and followed, sword in hand. A peasant dove at her with a crude scythe of some sort, and she deflected the blade, stepping to the side and bringing the sword down on the man’s back. It slid through his body easily.
She swallowed to resist gagging, and dispatched the next man, making her way towards Xren.
“Come on,” the counsel-man said. He had done a neat job in clearing the staircase, but more locals were moving around toward them.
“Second counsel room,” Arsha reminded. “You go, I’ll hold them off.”
“Not going to happen,” Xren said calmly.
She threw him a glare. “Make sure that Kiake and the Meriweathers get out.”
“That’s not going to happen,” repeated Xren. “Only you know where the exit is.”
Arsha growled and ducked into the corridor. He followed, right on her heels. 

Okay, yeah, that wasn’t a little section, it was kind of a big one. And to clarify. This may not be the same with you guys, but our parents don’t want us to write romance stories. So people in our books might like each other, but we’re not going to get all into that. As a basic rule, it’s probably safer to assume that a guy-girl couple in our books are just friends, unless otherwise indicated. Please go ahead and tell me if this is corny, I can take it. If there is a problem in… oh, grammar, spelling, plot, believability, feedback is welcome.

Oh, one more thing. What did you think of that cover up there? That's the original. The black background is my 10-year-old work with pastels, and the rest of it is courtesy of Trinity's 12-year-old Photoshop skills. Pretty good, considering. But for this post, I decided to revamp it.

And no, I don't own any of the pictures in this cover. In fact, I have no idea who they belong to. Some kinks will have to be worked out if I ever want to publish the book with this cover.

Back To Orphna

Hannah here.
This is really a difficult post for me. Trinity recommended that I write about, as she put it, "The land of the giant possums."
That's Orphna.
I'll explain the giant possums in a minute.

Orphna is both a fictional land and a nickname for my first book. My first book, which was actually, interestingly, inspired by a series of tape recordings I ad-libbed with two of my sisters. It had no plot, which is common with my earlier stories. The basic idea was that the main character, Arsha (no last name), had a secret that some bad guys wanted. The bad guys were just bad guys, for no reason, and they were chasing her constantly to get the secret. That was the recording "plot". The recording is lost now. But as I started writing, the story evolved a bit, into something a little bit better.

To begin with, I never finished Orphna. I didn't get farther than ten pages into it when I stopped. My family was really encouraging, and I loved writing it, but now that I'm going back over it... as Trinity said in her previous post, about the eye-clawing... I can relate. It was so clichéd. It was... very not good.

For example (and a little piece of me is dying as I post this):

Arsha ran down the slightly worn path, her soft shoes hitting the dirt.
“Just give up, Arsha! You have no choice!” A voice called out behind her.
Arsha sighed, “No way, Jorph, I’m not going to tell you! Find out on your own!”
“Charge!” Jorph shouted. She glanced behind herself and gulped when she realized a large group of trained soldiers were now being commanded by Jorph. “That’s not...what I meant.”

So here was the basic slap-together story-line: There is a queen in "an island far in the Indian Ocean, in the large empty space between Madagascar and Australia, though not really empty." I somehow felt a need to put Orphna in the real world, so I just went to the map on the wall and picked a blank section of ocean.

So anyway, Queen Losila did something that the people of Orphna didn't like. In this case, she took their... bees away. The majority of the population were beekeepers, and she, for unknown reasons, outlawed bees. Naturally, one would assume, the people were not happy with that. So they revolted.
Secondly, the main characters. They were the advisors to the queen. So when the people went after the queen, the advisors were next. So Losila sent them into hiding for their own safety. A fine story on it's own... but not the way I wrote it. Anyways, the main characters are these: Arsha, Kiake, Denna, Mylenda, Jenza, and Xren.
Arsha is the lead character. Kiake and Xren are her best friends. Xren is the only man in the group. Denna, a mother whose husband was killed by the yezben (giant possums). She has a 4-year-old daughter, Jenza. And Mylenda was an advisor who had already been caught and assumedly killed by the Cerchin (that's what the core of the revolters call themselves).
The advisers, also known as the Vinzine, have been hiding in a forest hut for a few years, all five of the remaining members. But they still have to get food, so every week or so one of the members will travel in disguise to the nearest market and get supplies before heading back to the woods. In this case, Arsha had gone to the market and was discovered by Jorph, the active leader of the Cerchin. The Cerchin are trying to find the Vinzine's hideout, so they chase Arsha, hoping she'll lead them to the fort, which she does. She thinks she outruns them and heads to the fort, but they follow, so the story starts with the entire team being chased out of their hideout.

While reading through this again, I can actually tell that I was basing it, perhaps subconsciously, on the Inheritance Cycle books. For example, the Vinzine, a classic good-guy band with a title, like Varden, both starting with V. If it worked for Christopher Paolini...
I've also worked out the time I was writing it - back in 2008, so when I was 10. The dates are messed up on my computer since we have wiped the system twice since I started writing, so I had to take a guess. One telling point was the big bad guy's name: Barama, which, in the little pronunciation guide (also inspired by the Inheritance books), I note that it rhymes with Obama. Our family is ultra-Conservative, so at age 10, basically all I knew about the elections was that McCain and Palin were good and Obama was bad. My naming skills needed work.
After writing this, I'm considering starting on the story again. But I'll have to change a lot of things. Like the bee-farm-banning thing.

Feedback is welcome and appreciated. We're going to start scheduling posts, so, Lord willing, we'll be able to get a post up on a regular basis, probably every other day, except on weekends.